1. FOOD: If you want to come at me about “how much I eat”, you need to provide an exact food diary of everything I ate in the past week, (not just what it was, but how much and when). Then you also need to provide at least 36 examples of thin people eating the same amounts/foods, and write a 10 page paper on why you don’t attack them, only me, and then provide 8 medically accurate and unbiased documents proving without a SHRED of doubt that these thin people eating the same amounts/things are as healthy/healthier than me.
2. HEALTH: if you want to come at me about my health/that I’m going to die, you need to provide me with full professional doctors papers, PhD and all, as well as MY individual health records, and at least 12 UNBIASED research papers done by reputable doctors (dr. phil does not count)
3. APPEARANCE: If you want to come at me about how I look to you, I am going to need a minimum of 245 photos of you, from all angles, with/without make up/beards/whatever, and you’re going to need to explain in a 12 page paper, single space, size 8 font, what it is about YOU and YOUR LOOKS that gives you the right to judge anyone else. Remember, I said looks only. I don’t give a flying fuck if you once helped someone move to a new apartment, this isn’t about nicest personality, this is about looks as you made it clear in attacking me for it.
Finally, and this is the most important rule of all,
4. WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THESE PAPERS, PHOTOS, AND FOOD DIARIES?
I need you to follow the below diagram, before ever coming to me with any of the above
Thank you. Have a nice day.